Number 2

After my morning coffee, I always feel the urge to visit the ladies room for a "delicate session of motion movement". (In crude, uneducated boorish English, that means "take a dump")

Whilst I was happily making delightful deposits (In crude, mothertongue hokkien, that means "Pangsai-ing"), I wondered what part does coffee play in this bowel activity. Is it out of a habit, like Pavlov's dog experiments? Or was it really the smell of Arabica beans grounded into a hot steamy cup of Java?

So it was on to Wikipedia - the unverified Encyclopedia which has the bestowing, magical power to make any nose-picking moron with fingers and internet access a Deans List academic....

Caffeine, that lovely addictive ingredient in coffee beans, prompts the contraction of the muscles in your digestive tract. (It makes utmost sense to me, then, that the best coffee in the world is Kopi Luwak, made from coffee beans found in Civet cat shit. The poor Civet cat, unwittingly trapped in a viscious love-hate cycle of coffee and shit...) 

"My poo is better than yours. bleh!"

Anyways, our caffeine laced intestine muscles are moved (pun intended!) to expel waste, causing the unsuspecting drinker the alarming urge to visit the nearest flushing porcelain toilet bowl.

This brings me to tomorrow's topic : Who invented toilet bowls? (I'm guessing he/she would've been an avid coffee drinker... but we'll see..)